In my book, The Ugly Woman’s Guide to Internet Dating, I talk about my four theories on beauty.

My third beauty theory is The Eight-Cow Theory. This name comes from a story, “Johnny Lingo’s Eight-Cow Wife,” which appeared in the February 1988 Reader’s Digest. (Written by Patricia McGerr, it originally appeared in Woman’s Day.)

According to the story, Johnny Lingo lived in a place where men often paid a bride price to the father of their beloved. A less-than-beautiful woman might fetch a few chickens or goats and a stunning woman might fetch two, three or even four cows. A real babe might be worth five cows. But Johnny paid eight cows for a woman that others described as plain and homely. He explained to a visitor that “many things can change a woman” but the thing that matters most is how she sees herself. He wanted his wife to know that she had great value in his eyes; that she was an “eight-cow wife.” After Johnny saw her value and innate beauty, his new wife grew to see her own value and beauty.

Sometimes, we need outside help when we’re striving to rediscover our own beauty.

During the three years that I spent in my own post-divorce wilderness, I worked tirelessly to improve myself financially, emotionally, intellectually and physically. For three years, I read trillions of spiritually centered self-improvement books. Each day, I studied the messages contained on the billions of inspirational notes I’d taped to the walls of my home. But these efforts to boost my self-esteem paled when compared to the magical words sensuously whispered by a long-term romantic partner.

Some of the most memorable words came from my 69th first date, a man who happened to be a Longshoreman. He’s the one that told me (without any prompting), “Rose, you are a beautiful woman.” And then there was the day he called and left a voice mail that said, “Good morning, my curvaceous cutie.” And one Tuesday afternoon he called to tell me, “I love to close my eyes and remember your beautiful smile.”

When Date #69 left my life, the aroma of those compliments remained behind. This experience, an absolute first for me, was the equivalent of someone taking me up in a spaceship and pointing out the curvature of the earth, proving once and for all that it really is round, not flat. He showed me a new view of myself from a new perspective and there was no going back to the old way of believing.

This delightful experience prepared me for my 70th (and last!) first date. (Read more at The Eight-Cow Wife, Part II.)

And more recently, I learned that I’m not the only one who loves this “Eight Cow Wife” story. There are several websites devoted to the topic, and even a clothing manufacturer of the same name!  http://www.eightcowwife.com

Learn more about Rose’s new book here!

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