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Eharmony vs. Match.com: A Review

When people hear that I’ve had 70 first dates, their reactions are varied and usually interesting. The married women cozy up to me and in a tone that can only be described as slightly voyeuristic, they whisper, “What was it like to have so many dates?” The married men snort out a laugh and say things like, “You must have been a busy girl.”

The single women adopt a serious tone and look deep into my eyes and say, “Which dating site would you recommend?”

Between Eharmony and Match.com, I much preferred Match.com and that is where I met my last first date.  I like Match because you’re in the driver’s seat and that’s appealing to us proactive types. At Eharmony, I met several so-called “Christian” men who had the morals of an alley cat. Not impressive.

I wasn’t looking for a fling and I didn’t want to spend the rest of my life dating men (or even one man). I was looking for a man who shared my interests and shared my morals and shared my ideas about life in general. I wanted a man who wanted a life-long romantic partner.

From 2003 - 2005, I was a semi-regular, somewhat faithful subscriber at eHarmony. That’s where I met the semi-retired hand-surgeon (and self-professed “good Christian”) who took me for a ride on his sailboat, and invested a lot of time and effort in convincing me that he was wonderful and then dropped me lot a hot rock. That’s also where I met the other “good Christian” (my 32nd date), who told me that I wasn’t pretty enough for him, but asked if we could just get together and have hot sex from time to time. He earned himself his own chapter, which I titled, “Good Christian Man Seeks Good Christian Woman for Friday Night Booty Call.”

For about 90 days, a male friend keep me apprised of his matches at eHarmony.com. During that time, I also kept track of my matches at this website. A week-by-week comparison consistently showed that he was getting eight-to-ten times more matches than I was. In other words, there were eight to ten times more women than men at eHarmony.com.

I did not fare well at eHarmony.  During one 90-subscription period, I received 11 matches and way too many of them “closed communications” before I could even shoot them a quick note. My male friend received more than 100 matches during this same time period.  I asked my friend why these guys were “closing” communications before we’d even “met” and he said, “I’m inundated and overwhelmed with ‘matches’ and I don’t have time to investigate all of them. I just pick the best looking in the bunch.”

There’s a lot wrong with that sentence, but that’s another blog for another day. Suffice it to say, there are a lot of fishies in the Match.com stream. That’s a big plus. And Match.com introduced me to my favorite fishie.

Next:  How to read between the lines when reading men’s profiles.

Want to read about something different? How about an article on how the germ theory changed American architecture - almost overnight!

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Match.com worked for me!

Match.com worked for me!

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  1. Jessie
    March 28th, 2010 at 04:47 | #1

    Met three stellar guys off of Match.com
    The worst was on Eharmony.
    It’s a cheaters’ paradise because there is no transparency.
    The same guy who replied to me when I answered his ad looking for a nice Christian girl on Craigslist, also turned up on Eharmony.
    And this was AFTER I told his girlfriend about it (we have a mutual friend!)
    When I actually posted about this on their message board they suspended my account.

  2. Emily
    December 31st, 2009 at 00:15 | #2

    I was feeling discouraged until I found your blog. I am going to order your book. I have been on Match & eHarmony. I have cried several times when I was “closed” out and blown off. I am Christian and feel as if I am invisible to Christian men bc I am ignored while the reserved “nice” and very thin girls are asked out and I am dismissed as the weirdo. I make people laugh and only like what I like. I don’t try to pretend to like things that are popular.

    Sometimes I think that it is hard to date online, but I know that God nudged me to join eHarmony for a reason.

    Some folks may think that admitting that I have cried when rejected is pathetic- but who hasn’t cried? How can you not cry?

  3. December 16th, 2009 at 15:47 | #3

    Eharmony vs. Match.com: A Review http://bit.ly/8gINmC

    This comment was originally posted on Twitter

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