My 59th first date and I were having a lovely dinner together when that question popped into my head. I believe in guardian angels and I believe that it’s wise to pay attention to those ideas that seem to just “pop into my head.”

Yet to all appearances, this guy was as safe as they come.  He had a prestigious job and he was a member of several impressive social organizations and he seemed to be an upstanding citizens in all regards.

There’s a wonderful book called, The Gift of Fear which I highly recommend as a primer for any woman who plans to date. The author tells story after story where women “knew something wasn’t right” but couldn’t put their finger on it, and eventually came to learn that their intuitive sense had been spot-on. The Gift of Fear explains that we are biological systems hard-wired to survive and that we must learn to pay better attention to those pokes and prods from that “inner-knowing” or natural intuitive sense.

Even having read that book twice, I still surprised myself with my bold question.

As soon as that question had left my lips, I thought to myself, “Holy cow, did I just say that out loud?”

I was even more shocked at his answer:  Yes. His first wife had taken out a restraining order when he tampered with the engine in her car. He was mad, it seems, and he wanted to get even. And then this seemingly calm man launched into a surprise diatribe that began with, “That woman is such a bitch…”

Since then, I’ve asked that question when it seemed appropriate. You might be as surprised as I was at how many men answer, Yes.

In her powerful book Revolution From Within, Gloria Steinem points out that on Valentines Day 1991, a judge in Knoxville, Tennessee issued 30 applications for marriage licenses, 60 applications for divorce and 90 restraining orders.

To read Rose’s book, click here: